Mello Didn't
by Matt'sUke
Summary: Mello wishes he had done so many things, but he didn't. MattxMello. Hinted MattxNear.
1. Chapter 1

Ehm Ehm… Welcome to my life… the current state of my life fits conveniently into the characters of Death Note and since all the following events are true you will soon see why I was writing this and not doing my homework. It goes without saying that I am Mello in the following situation… comments welcome…

~MattsUke

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Mello picked up his pencil and suspended it over his notebook. He'd been trying to solve the same chemistry problem all night. It's not so much that he didn't know it, it was more that he simply could not muster up enough focus to concentrate on the task at hand. All night had been occupied with the trials and tribulations of the boundaries between love and friendship. He glanced across the room at Matt writing some story for his Sherlock Holmes class and sighed rubbing his temples. 1:39 A.M. and he still had to do his Japanese homework too. Everything didn't have to be so complicated. Yes, Near was there first but Mello was here now. Mello shook his head realizing that he had been staring at Matt this whole time and looked back down at his homework.

'How many moles of P4O10 would you need to react to form 5.00g of phosphoric acid?'

He blinked a few times. Somewhere in his vast fund of knowledge he did know the answer, but not tonight. Why did Near have to complicate things? He really liked Matt, and he was pretty sure Matt liked him too… Mello put a big question mark next to question number four and moved onto the next problem.

…The words just blurred together. Mello glanced around the room. His side was a mess. He needed to clean. He needed to do homework. He needed to sleep.

But mostly he needed to be rid of those words that were haunting him.

What Matt said earlier.

-"So for now I guess it's best that we're just friends"-

And Mello had responded.

-"Sure. As long as you're happy I'm happy."-

What B.S. What god damned crap. "This sucks." Said Mello as he threw his books aside resolving to wake up earlier instead, the clock now reading 2:22 A.M. Matt looked over at Mello and their eyes met.

Mello should have told him then.

That it was not ok.

That he was not happy.

Mello should have slipped his arms around the back of Matt's neck and pulled him into a gentle kiss.

Mello should have.

But Mello didn't.


	2. Chapter 2

Well, this was supposed to be one chapter but the complications of my life gave way to another chapter. Enjoy!

~MatsUke

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Matt decided he wanted cookies. So Mello being the obedient little kitten he was complied. However the kitchen was in use. And Matt relocated, to Mello's bed. Mello wandered around distractedly cleaning his room, even vacuuming, feeling like a freaking housewife. All the while Matt would poke fun at him, ruffle his hair.

Mello pretended to hate it.

But Mello didn't.

Mello sat down at his desk and pulled his homework close. "Stupid chemistry." Said Mello as he threw down the paper baring his nightly questions. He looked over at Matt who was lounging on his bed texting Near. And perhaps everyone else on the planet.

Mello wanted to throw the phone across the room.

But Mello didn't.

Then looked down at his homework again only to be roused by the sound of chocolate wrappers.

His eyes shot back to Matt who was unwrapping Hershey's chocolate kisses with almonds and eating them one by one.

Mello stared.

There lying on his bed were his two favorite things.

Two kinds of kisses that he desired.

Matt and chocolate.

Mello could have them.

But Mello didn't.


	3. Chapter 3

Yay! Chapter number 3! This wasn't even supposed to be more than one. So I finally decided to write about some of the happier times Mello has had with Matt and not only his emotional turmoil. Enjoy, and as always, if there is a topic for a story that you want me to write, just message me!

~Matt'sUke

Mello sat at his computer trying fruitlessly to concentrate on his work. He couldn't stand seeing Matt and Near together. Mello wanted to be part of the conversation but he had nothing to add, so Mello didn't.

Mello could only sit at his computer and stare. How he longed to wrap his arms around Matt's shoulders and hold him close. But he knew that he couldn't, so Mello didn't.

Mello wanted to go out, but he couldn't he had to stay in his room and endure this torture. Mello wanted to leave, but Mello didn't.

He was losing his mind. Going insane. He didn't know what to do anymore. With all his heart he wanted nothing more than to stop loving Matt, but for some reason he just couldn't. He was tied to on emotion that he could not describe. Trapped. A prisoner to his own desire.

"Wanna make cookies?" asked Matt. This was not the first time that Matt had suggested that they make cookies and as usual, Near did not want to partake. "I will." Said Mello. Near took his leave and Mello and Matt headed down to the kitchen with there ready made dough and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Mello took out a muffin tray and Matt began to squeeze the dough into each section. The boys stood side by side. Their shoulders touching. They put the cookies in the oven the smell of chocolate filling the air. While waiting the boys made small talk.

Matt admitted his jealousy while Mello flirted with other boys.

Mello admitted how the red head consumed his thoughts.

The boys sang.

"…it starts in my toes, and I crinkle my nose, wherever it goes I always know. You make me smile, please stay for a while now, just take your time, wherever you go…"

Then just smiled.

Matt took the cookies out of the oven and both boys pushed the Reese's into each cookie. Neither wanted to leave.

They stood in the hallway and stared at each other. Matt scooped Mello up pulling him close then lifting him up and swinging him around. Mello grabbed onto Matt's shirt, reluctantly letting the other boy walk away. He smiled as Matt left.

It starts in my soul, and I lose all control, when you kiss my nose, the feelin' shows. 'Cause you make me smile, baby just take your time now, holdin' me tight…

Mello wanted to follow him. Wanted to pull him into a warm kiss. But Mello didn't


End file.
